The one thing in my life that never fucking understood and has caused me the most grievance is being related to these motherfuckers. I hate my fucking father. I hate my fucking mother. One day I will never...the weekend fucked over for me because of her and her plans and her desires and I do not exist anyway. Then again, why bitch? I should know better than to think they would treat me like a human being

Looking back at this livejournal, not even having to go that far into the past even, fucking sickens me.

Today has been the single worst day I can remember in the longest time. I do not want to be alive anymore.

Cuts for lengths, darlings. I don't think I want to be with my boyfriend anymore. Yesterday we spent at least four fucking hours arguing. It started so simply but I have told him time and again and...all this and whether or not to stay or leave. Either way I am damn glad that I am aware of how cherished, wanted and loved I am. And at least I have that to get me through whatever decision I make

...with his mother, he's angry with himself, he blows up at his siblings for the slightest thing.  If Steve dies he's going to get angrier and I'm afraid to see the place Christopher will be in his anger. I have a strong feeling that I will be back in Washington by the end of the week in order to help my aunt.  I can look after the kids and she can look after Steve.  Last night I found this beautiful...

I am still so angry that I went inpatient this past spring again.....I knew that I would gain the weight...which I did....GROSS.  And I am just wanting to lose back down to the weight before I went inpatient...say...."You are choosing your ED over relationships."  YES I am.  I have no other choice.  No choice at all to be chained down by this disease.But I guess I am getting used to it.  lb

Hi everybody. I am not in the best mood right now and it has nothing to do with baseball. Red Sox lost today and that sucks balls but I'm more pissed off about my schoolwork right now. I spent the entire...on my own. On the bright side Eck is doing the NY series with Orsillo. THAT is awesome and epic and makes me a little happier through the stress. Here's to me being able to get this shit done

It all comes together. It all falls apart. We're done and over with. I don't know how I manage to look regal while Rome burns. Fuck Nero. Fuck Fire. Fuck Passion. Hell knows I'll figure out what I need but fucking Hell can I not catch a break? Don't you know that we're counting down and once I take off I'm not coming back?

...I worked all night unlike them chitchatting it away and I was not pleased and then you all spat my plans back in my face and you expect me to stay? Do you honestly believe that you can respond to my anger with your bullshit one and expect me to obey? Whom? Because you're out of your mind if you think you are going to be able to control me once I have made up my mind that you are something to be abhorred...

You're just the biggest waste of time. You're just the biggest waste of life. To think I'd give it all to you and you'd just spit it back in my face, All while mumbling over and over how you miss me. Save...the wife beside you has yet another man, And those children aren't yours; Just as you deserve. Sweetheart, say your respects to Love and Romance because you burried all your chances. ♠♣ ♦♥