...of new and inventive ways to annoy him.  Harkness said he'd like to go to a gay bar with me. Score!  The Doctor said I can't take the Master, but honestly I think they might just bring down everyone's good time anyway they seem like party poopers.Well with any luck the gay bar outing will happen soon. Probably not until the he's had a chance to bang Ianto's brains out a few 100 times.  

I'm at the last scene of my bang*bang story and I think I finally figured out how Jamie speaks. I knew that he talks around things, telling a story to illustrate each point, but I wasn't sure what should be in each quote, but then as I was finishing up, I realized that he talks like a dictionary or thesaurus, sprinkling his speech with slang, idioms, and five dollar words that mean the same thing:...

...and right to keep your blade sharp and your wits sharper.  Only through constant vigilance can we bring these evildoers to justice. And, to those who would commit the crimes that harm our makeshift society in Discedo, I have only one thing to say to you! BANG SHISHIGAMI, WARRIOR OF LOVE AND JUSTICE, HEREBY CALLS YOU OUT .  RENOUNCE YOUR EVIL WAYS, OR I WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOU PERSONALLY.