Okay, So my boytoyy has been totally stand-offish. Mostly it makes me mad, But somewhat upset. I don't really know whats going on. It's all in my head really. Like today, Kind of nothing happened...that he talks to other girls. I don't care about Danniel. Or however you spell her name. I care about him, And only him . I really don't want to feel this way anymore. I dont want to come off wrong.

Boy Toy cancelled for this evening. He "offered" to come over at midnight or 1 AM since he couldn't come during daylight hours, but as much as I'd like to have some quality time with him, I'm not up to entertaining after midnight. I'll have to wait a few days to see him.

I've been busy with life stuff. Last night I was headed to the Teacher's part of town and something inspired me to call him and ask if he could meet up. Even as I was saying it, I thought "this is a bad...him that, he seemed fairly indifferent to that. So hopefully if there's any awkwardness on his side because of last week's call, it will have faded by the next time he has a gathering in a couple weeks

Last weekend I went into Monday feeling like ass and really needing some relief. Luckily, Boy Toy was supposed to come over, which he did, and his visit was VERY therapeutic. Exactly what I needed. Tuesday...trying not to because how am I going to interact with him without trying to put my hands all over him, you know? And for some reason, "I love you" didn't enter into today's chatter. Hrm. Interesting

1. I haven't seen or heard from Boy Toy since I told him I couldn't meet last Monday. I don't expect to hear from him until the next time he's horny, at which point I will laugh at him. "I thought we were...if that played a part in it or not, but he found a way to justify his actions to himself. And I found a way to say "look, we're gonna be careful with this and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

Boy Toy came over today for some fun - we christened my new kitchen table :) - and is hoping to be available tomorrow for another visit, but I'm not holding my breath. Today was everything I wanted yesterday...bitches. I talked to him on the phone for a while tonight though, asked him what to do about this guy at work asking me out. He didn't really have any useful answers. But I should be seeing him next week

Just started He's Just Not That Into You chapter 2 -"he's just not that into you if he's not calling you - men know how to use the phone" when my phone rang and it was a guy who wanted sex! I'm guessing...to get hold of me. and I just caught PSG on IM. What a busy night! I was supposed to be doing a whole shitload of other stuff, but as usual, I'm willing to ignore that if it means I'm getting some

since giving up abstinence, I've been busy. Not that busy. I didn't count phone sex as breaking abstinence since that's like the same as getting off to porn practically, so not counting that means not...it's not worth the effort. I updated my ad on the adult personals site but I honestly can't imagine having time to meet new people right now, so I dunno why I bothered. Cheerful tonight aren't I

I was *supposed* to go to a party tonight that I think was going to be some kind of orgy. This couple I had a threesome with invited me. But I can't afford the gas to get there. So I email them that, and...we will end up in bed. Or in the shower. Or on the sofa. Or... I'm logging off now, so I can go be an idiot again. Hey, recognizing you have a problem is the first step on the road to recovery, right

If a woman of a certain age say 40's to 50's who goes after men in their 30's is a cougar, then what do you call the men in this situation?  Bunnies? Goats? I guess since she 50 and I am 39, Alice is technically a cougar.  I guess then I am the bunny.