So, someone thinks it's clever to let me on photobucket unsupervised . . . and this is the result XD x__________________x And, on top of all that, I'm listening to KISS...a relationship. And I know I'm being self-centered, concentrating on myself instead of the other person, but ya know what, she's got to figure herself out, I can't do that for her. All I can do is me.

Title : Ruined Author : Chantrea Johari Fandom : JRock; Dir en grey Pairings : Kaoru x Die, mentioned Kyo x Shinya Rating : R Summary : He knew with complete certainty that their relationship...he knew that he couldn’t survive the disappointment, not again. He knew with complete certainty that his relationship with Die was ruined, and the band was sure to follow. And it was all his fault.

Title : Ruined Author : Chantrea Johari Fandom : JRock; Dir en grey Pairings : Kaoru x Die, mentioned Kyo x Shinya Rating : R Summary : He knew with complete certainty that their relationship...own palms, that it wasn’t just his relationship with Kaoru that was ruined now — it was the band, which was slowly crumbling to pieces, falling apart, ripping at the seams. And it was all his fault.

Title : Dark Hermes Author : Chantrea Johari and Noroi [ hyakumonogatari ] Fandom : JRock; Dir en grey Pairings : mentioned Kaoru x Die Rating : R Summary : How could he inform Die’s...left. Guilt ripped at Kaoru, deeply enough hat he wondered if he himself would bleed out. He physically hurt — and as he hung up the phone, the first sob forced its way painfully past Kaoru’s lips.

Title : Capture the Elusive Author : Chantrea Johari Band : Dir en grey Pairings : Kaoru x Die, Shinya x Kyo Overall Rating : NC-17 Summary : "If you really loved me, you wouldn't make me keep...of the goal that part of him had always known was the only way out. Die reveled in the memory of that, held it close to his chest, the only comfort that he had left. And he smiled. END

Title : Capture the Elusive Author : Chantrea Johari Band : Dir en grey Pairings : Kaoru x Die, Shinya x Kyo Overall Rating : NC-17 Summary : "If you really loved me, you wouldn't make me keep...of the goal that part of him had always known was the only way out. Die reveled in the memory of that, held it close to his chest, the only comfort that he had left. And he smiled. END

Die stared at his fingers. Long, but not overly long, and large. Warm, calloused, guitarist's fingers. He was going to hate himself for this; he knew it with the same certainty that he had known that...that stood out far too much. 'When the seasons come and winter sleeps, I will come visit with flowers.' All were inspired by, and written for chantre_johari 's story Capture the Elusive

Title : Subtext Author : Chantrea Johari Fandom : JRock; Dir en grey, YOSHIKI Pairings : none; implied Kaoru x Die and Yoshiki x hide Rating : R Summary : These occasions were a respite for...he couldn’t , pretended he could only hear the most obvious, the words that rested at the surface. “Don’t let Kaoru end up like me.” And there was nothing more. That was all there was.

A Die and Kaoru drabble.  This was written as a companion piece to 's story Capture the Elusive "Have you ever wondered how it would feel...?"  Toes flexed over the edge of the platform, hugging...tug him back past the yellow line as the mechanical warning sounded.  The train is coming.  Stand behind the line. Die knew that Kaoru wouldn't allow him to fall.   He would never be that lucky.

Title : Capture the Elusive Author : Chantrea Johari Band : Dir en grey Pairings : Kaoru x Die, Shinya x Kyo Overall Rating : NC-17 Summary : "If you really loved me, you wouldn't make me keep...that he would call Kaoru despite the vehemence of Die’s pleas. Because if Kaoru didn’t have the solutions to Die’s predicament, he at least had the right to be with his lover when he died.