Last working day prior to the surgery. Got my remaining open items closed off (enough, at least), talked with the couple of people at the office I'm vaguely close to. They all seem rather more sure that...section, or a second (much) smaller resection may have to be done as part of the operation. Aside from that, ticking over. One foot in front of the other. Trying not to focus on some things. The usual
Yesterday is a day better not dwelt on too much. Very uncomfortable. Today has been somewhat better. I even expect to be heading into the office tomorrow instead of working from home. It's always touch...skipped this weekend; it was Not A Good Idea. Too bad as the weather was co-operative. Still, there's not all that much that really must be done. (Iceland, Latvia, Ukraine, ... the list grows
Had the (first) consultation with the surgeon today. I now have planned: appointment with my family doctor A CT scan A flexible sigmoidoscopy A Pre-operative Assessment A second consulation with...okay.) Though now I'm thinking of maybe doing some small ink near the scar when this is all done... I have a couple of interesting ideas. Oh, and I'm just past 200 photos scanned. So, around 10%..
I don't really have much to say at the moment. I feel fucking stupid. My Crohns is playing up. I wonder if it's because I drank so much the other night. I wonder if it's because they gave me the infusion even thought I had this dumb cold, and the IBD nurse at the RAH said they can't give it to me if I'm ill in any way. I wonder if it's just not going to work and if they're going to have to cut out...
I survived Probing Day. Specifically, a colonoscopy. It's good practise to have one before resection. The results were generally good and as expected. Crohn's has a habit of skipping around the colon... Does give some boundaries to what's going to be done. And I got to meet (very briefly) the surgeon who will likely be doing the honours. Things might start moving soon... Now, on to the next bi
...(as the originating point would be part of the removed bowel) and if necessary a small alteration to the sigmoid (the other end of the fistula) may be done as well. My large intestine seems free of Crohns. Some inflamation near the fistula exit, and some right near the ileocecal valve. This means I'm not going to end up with a stoma, either temporarily or permanently. No bag! It boils down to #3...
I've been mulling this over a couple of weeks, trying to figure out how to talk about it without sounding defeatist, whiney, alarmist, angry or some other not-entirely-useful emotion. I had an Upper...a killer these days. Oddly, it's an expense I'd prefer not to incur, but we'll see. I'm a couple weeks behind because of this, but I do have a few other entries I need to make in the next few days
Blame lasirenadolce for tonight's musing. Her contemplation of OHSU triggered a comparable one for me, as Doernbecher's Children's Hospital is next to and a part of it, and today was DS's Remicade...a potentially problematic reaction which required an atypical management style. Ah well, this is getting long and too much is going on around here to keep a coherent thought going. More later
...her beak with a syringe and then stimulate her esophagus until she swallows it. Not fun for either of us. A girl after my own taste buds I guess! Grape flavor reminded my of supplement powder for Crohns though with the flare up I am having I think anything would remind me. To be honest I long for the days when the banana, cherry, strawberry, chocolate, vanilla, or even grape flavors were enough...
It was a big day for me. Physically I feel pretty good. Mentally I feel like shit and all I want to do is get wrecked. I've had some good moments, but on the whole I've had to struggle for every scrap...if it doesn't, (keeping in mind that I love my partner more than I ever thought I was capable of feeling for another human being) or not. I'm over talking. Fuck, I'm even done thinking right now
