Dear Diary Do you have any idea what its like to gain 10 pounds in 2 weeks?? slowly escalading from your once cute figure into a nasty beast without having anyway to stop it? didn't think so....I could've...probably...i will always remain this way, i will always hate myself, i am a self fufilling prophecy that doesn't want to change, even if i tell myself different. control...without it i am nothing.    

so i ve benn in ten foster home but i feel like im still not wanted and my craving for cutting are way worse then a while ive lost my mother sister and 9 foster families ive also lost the love of my life derek i miss him amd it makes me want to just die he understood me but now he doesnt care so what am i supposed to do this family seems like they care but how can i be so sure i am not at the point...