I have woken up today feeling fucking depressed about the next six months or so. I didn't write about yesterday in my blog but it went something like this. 10:58am, leavethe house for the bus. Got poured...more work into constructing and writing this blog then I have in the entirety of my degree. And that's really saying something. Right. I have to leave in an hour. Colonel Barker. "I am the Master.
Depression? What happened to me? Out of a sudden, i seem to be another person. Even myself do not know the reason. Perharps i'm giving myself too much stress? Too high expectation...pack the room and pack the clothes to respective closet. I guess all i got to do is to change my attitude and destress myself.. If not i'm gonna hurteveryone around me instead of loving them..
Hey. Why do men always fuck with my head? I didn't go to school today because I feel like shit. Jake is such a selfish bastard . I wanted to go filming after school for my Media work and he...people in different ways. The video is to Jeff Buckley's Hallelugiah . The best cover of it in the world. Sarah, if you have time this week, help me? Thanks. ily Sophii xoxo
И все таки что то во мне определенно не так. Наерно есть люди которым лучше быть одним. Так они полнее раскрываютьс что ли. Хорошо и одновременно плохо быть одному. Но тем не менее по крайне мере я никому снова не зделаю больно. Ну что ж .... По кайней мере у меня есть друзья.... Ну или люди которые хотят таковыи быть.
I don't know if i should believe you. Youre always either telling me youre busy with work, youre tired and need to sleep, youre sick and need to rest yada-yada. Youve got no time for me but youve got time to party with ur femalefriends. I am tired, very tired.
It wasn't suppose to happen this way, trust me it wasn't. How did everything get so out of control? I keep playing my actions of that night over and over in my head, like a bad movie, you just cant turn...bad cliche they could think of, but as of now, it isn't going to be okay, nothing is going to be okay. Guess this is the hard part of growing up. Leaving the pieces on the floor, and walking away
Is it fair to let someone read a book, then not allow them to dwell on the story? So I read Twilight. Edward and Bella. Great love story, and of course it's interesting beyond imagination. So, he's...a fit? I think not, but maybe my thinking is skewed. I downed the book in a few days, a lot to digest so of course I'm going to think about it. I'll be thinking twice before I pick up a book again
After all the problems we've seen, if there's one thing my mom has left for me and taught me it is love. She may still me a little unstable, but even when I was younger, she showed me how to love. To...blame it on the past? I can't deny myself any longer of who I am, or who I want to be in the future. My life has made me this way, how I was raised: To show love the best way I can, to those I trust.
Today must have been the worst day ever. First my best friend blows me off and completely ignores me cuz she thinks I need my "space", and my dad almost had a heart attack tonight. I really just need someone... And now I feel sick. I hate my life. I honestly wish I was dead. I know who'd miss me and who would just be like "whatever she's gone. I have better friends." TODAY WAS REALLY NOT MY DAY!!!! :
