It's come up more than once, lately, in casual conversation and blog entries and other forums for meandering thoughts that we grow up and learn and live in a world of deadlines, and that maybe some attributes...or imperfect-bug-good-enough-to-be-abandoned projects that it feels like sometimes, everything in life becomes a destination. At least, I seem to err on the side of thinking along those lines.

So, I'm reading up on gender transitions again. I know the transition I've got planned for the next five years isn't transsexuality, but the advice is still generally helpful. One article in specific,...I feel compelled to wonder. How the hell do they survive without making any big transitions? How can they settle in like that and be content? Or am I just missing the changes that they do go through

Me with a slight baby bump at (i think) 14 weeks. somewhere around there, anyway. I'm pretty sure this was at 16 weeks. This was at 17 weeks This was at 18 weeks This is me today, at 20 weeks and 1 day

...are all compassionate people who, even if they don't understand why I feel as I do, respect whatever I do feel.  With people like that around me, I am free to grow in any direction I choose. Growth has always felt awkward. It means leaving the known temporarily to reach for a hitherto unknown, and then returning to the known to bring the two together. I get a little dizzy at such times. I...

I thought I'd been so good about posting, then realized my last three posts have all been private. Still private, but updates for you. I had a bit of a breakdown tonight. So mad! at myself, mostly. I...I'm very excited!  And thank-you and love to everyone who has purchased my things. I will keep you close to my heart as I get ever closer to actually being able to pay my rent. Love you all! ~muah

So it's currently 1 o'clock in the morning as I am procrastinating on work, as usual, and reading fanfictions and Wikipedia pages on random things, and I just realized that I totally did not spend last...is now 1:30 AM and instead of doing homework, I'm writing an LJ entry. I'd really rather work on my writing skills than go to school and learn a bunch of bullshit I won't need in the future anyway

Transsexuality was my first real transition. The first time I ever said to the world "I'm going to make what I want of my life in this area." And I did it, and most everyone calls me a girl now. It's what...the pain won't go away unless I fix it. Divinity is not the process of contentment, nor is it an instantaneous alteration of the world. It is the work necessary to make the world a better place

Yes, it's PMS.  I feel bloated and tired.  And I also feel like I'm getting sick.  Wonderful.  I had a decent day.  My friend came over really early and we went to the market to hook up with my other friends...hard to see it sometimes, but everything happens for a reason.  So when things don't go the way that I think it should, I must wait for what is right for me.  I guess that's applicable to everything

I went to get breakfast at Fivebucks since I have this big sell everything I own sale today. I though it best to sell my pots, pan, dishes, etc since they are heavy in a backpack. This makes it difficult...sure when things will strike me. And I'm crying as I write this. Losing people is hard. Even when they aren't a daily part of your life. When they are in your heart, they are still close. I miss her

Hmm,  day one of my busy weekend is behind me.  I had a pretty great day.  I started out not feeling so well, but went out to the museums with my friend.  I must admit, she sorta bothered me because she...& brother didn't bring her beer.  She acts a fool.  And there is nothing worse than an 82 year old cussing and buzzing.  Trust.  I wish I didn't know.  Such is my life.  It ain't so bad afterall..