...letting historyrepeat itself. You've been on my mind lately and it's so scary. I felt that I've betrayed and strayed but the thing is I haven't and am trying freaking hard not to. It's a type of guilt that tugs at my heartstrings and it's creepy. I'm not supposed to feel this way but the very fact is I am feeling this way. Please honey, save me ): / Actually it's not much of a problem, guess...
I'm no god damn hero at all. She would tell me if she meant to leave. Like last weekend. She'd say something. My fucking chest hurts. I suck at this. I suck at all of it. Gen wants me to go to the fucking...to be Fish and Njoki and not some other fucking people? I used the possessive. She's not mine. I know she's not. Why did I say that? Fuck. I fall apart too easily. If I run maybe it'll turn off
I still carryimmenseguilt over what happened to Rae. Once I betrayed her, a second time I wasn't there when I should have been. I should have been more than a friend than I was. 6th of June will always be a bad day for me.
...explain to mine in the electricity of the air that they’re there as comfort, but their still limbs warn me that, that is all they are capable of with the little power they enclose. Guilt sawed through my fragmented soul. My abandoned but not forgetful mind dared to loiter on the mere memory that I thought was forever in the past. However, a moment or two or so ago it presented itself...
And I thought I knew what that word meant. When I started to lie. When I changed and had to keep the secret. And then again, when I broke Leah's heart. I thought I knew. I had no idea . Yesterday, I...to go see her, to explain, to apologize and beg that there will be something I can do, anything. Not to gain forgiveness, but only to make her suffering a little bit less. That's all I'll ask for now.
Um. I think I... might have ruined someone's life. But it was someone who wasn't exactly a good guy... ... Am I stupid for feeling guilty about this? It happened back during the Dark Area invasion, when the Seal was activated...
...commitments clash; one is out of town sometimes; and there are occasions when, on a fairly regular basis, one is not able to attend or contribute. This often gives rise to what I call "Volunteer Guilt". "Oh, I promised to take this issue to heart, and work for it, but here I am, unable to devote time or effort to it." This guilt is sometimes assuaged by what is popularly called "throwing money...
...wanted chocolote for 6 months and wanting some now has me kinda spooked) Holloween is next week. I am kinda sad I can't sit and eat all the kids good candy but at the same time happy to be free from the guilt of doing it. I am still wishing a food lobotomy came with the surgery. It would make this easier. I also wishI knew what it was like to be in a skinny mind but then again I think I can say I am...
Guilt is an American institution... no wait, I think it might actually be a UNIVERSAL instituion. Yes, now that I think about it, GUILT might possibly be one of few universal things (contrary to what anthropologists would like to cram down your throat. Philosophists too for that matter. Haha. I typed philoso-fits.) And that's not necessarily a bad thing. I mean, you (whoever is reading this, along...
