My years turn when the ancient Samhain festivities also turn the seasons, traditionally. Like our modern New Year, it ought to be a time of reflection, doubly so for me; but also like the modern New Year...the frost. I'm going to cherish my interesting rocks, and I'm going to cherish the children who collect them, and I'm going to find some oh so elusive quietness here, at the turning of the year.

when it's all you can do to ignore the blinding headache and wash the sheets and blankets, and the minute you put the bed back together again, all you really want to do is crawl into it and cover up your head so as to exclude even the tiniest sliver of light? Yeah, it's one of those days.

... :-) My turn came a bit later. Since I'd let myself chill a bit from the frentic pace during the week, I was in a much more mellow place for this scene. It made it easier for me to relax and engage in headspace. The dynamic that R and I have in our PE is so natural... I adore her. We hadn't really had an opportunity to talk much in many months, so we enjoyed an extended conversation during aftercare...

...find out exactly how hard it is. I'm now really scared about this law assignment. I'm so worried I'm going to fail it as well because like the bioscience one I'm going to be writing the majority of it whilst in this depressive phase. The rational side of my thinking is now telling me to call Student Services... the irrational side is yet again telling me not to call. I love my headspace. Not.

It is good to be busy, if that means having friends and interests. But things are getting a little too busy for me. A full, fun weekend behind us, with a full, partly fun week ahead, I'm staring at my...that time (writing, stitching, snuggling). But if I am honest with myself, I'm more productive when I have to work in short, scheduled bursts. As long as there's time for snuggles, I guess I'm okay.

So I was doing pretty well up until about Saturday. Now today I didn't even want to get out of bed. To top it off - I was vaguely awake when mum went to work then fell back asleep again and had a nightmare...on any of these but damn I was close to. Today I can't keep that panic attack feeling away. The court countdown is now at 3.5 hours, doctor in 5.5 hours, rovers in 9 hours. Not in a good way at all

So gaming was interesting. T and Z came over on Sunday because they wanted to convince Jay to run the Arthurian game, which is kinda redux of a redux, given S and A were playing Arthur and Gwen respectively...he's out. K says he often has a wheezy cough as well. Not 100% on other differences will have to check with her or see if she'll give some info, although they may be "trade secrets" we'll have to see

This morning I have been doing A LOT of thinking. Some of it good, some of it bad. I'm going to tell M the full details in about half an hour. She's coming over as she doesn't have school today so we...drastic happen) and since november 2006 its just been one kick in the guts after another and now there seems no way in turning back. And by now I will have scared everyone of reading my LJ... great