Stressed, depressed and I have insomnia.  Which is the symptom, which is the cause? I never used to understand why people cut themselves but today after accidentally picking a scab off my leg and watching the blood flow down my leg I can't get the thought out my mind.  I hear people saying the pain is a relief but that wasn't what I felt.  It was just nice watching the blood flow. I think I am depressed...

...of it over the last few weeks. I can't seem to stay unconscious for more than five hours at a time, and rarely have less than 18 hours between periods of sleep. Again. And here I'd thought the insomnia was righting itself. The latest thing, though, is the recurrent 'rodent' dream. Most people dream about rodents infesting and overwhelming and generally being vermin. I dream about them as pets...

Well, I haven't had this intense a spot of insomnia in a hell of a long time. That's the good news, I guess. The bad news is that it's well past the time that I can take something to knock me out. I'd sleep until 11 or so, and that would just put me in more trouble tonight. Unless I really drug myself tonight. Huh. Excuse me while I talk to myself, OK? I suppose I can feed the cats. I got out of bed...

I am completely obsessed with this song. For realz. So, becoming anorexic isn't as hard as I thought. I'm hungry as hell but I don't feel like eating. I have the hunger pains but not the drive to satisfy... Or maybe what I see everyday in the reflection has finally gotten to me.... I've been drawing like a maniac. Can't post them up here though.... *SAD FACE* Eh, not like anyone reads this anyway

I twisted my ankle on the stairs awhile ago, so at the moment, I'm icing it so it doesn't swell.  I do hope it's gone by tomorrow, as it didn't seem too bad when I checked.  I just got back to Tokyo time...  I just hope I'm able to get over it before it becomes a problem. Screened to Kaidoh-kun Have you also badly adjusted to the time change?  I hear many people have.  And are you free on Sunday?

 So I definitely skipped school today. And only because I didn't feel like it. Just didn't. I caught up on sleep though, which will be good for the rest of the week. I plan on baking cookies and doing...episode with that earlier this week, but I don't really remember what happened.  My mom got me a bunch of old 30s-50s movies. I'm really excited to watch them. Most will prolly be seen sometime today.

I'm going out of my fucking mind. I've now had this nerve pain for nine weeks and it keeps getting worse, not better. Yesterday after my two-month follow up I went to AC Moore to pick up some supplies... maybe this would all seem more bearable. I don't know. I left support group last night feeling so good and so positive, but the lack of sleep has left me totally depleted. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Insomnia suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks, and whats worse it makes me want to sit and munch on something. Blah maybe I'll go for a short walk, tis a lil bit cold but oh well it might help.

It's alost 5:30 am and I find it hilarious that there's a wiki article on censorship by Google. On second thought, that's disturbing. But who am I to talk? I guess what's more worrying is the Australian...stability in someone struggling to find stability is probably not the best move, but they've done that and here I am now, feeling bad they couldn't find someone better to find some sort of security in

cannot sleeeeeeep. so i came back online, although i could just pick up my notes and i am sure i would be ready to sleep. but no no, i am back here to blog. why? cos i remember seeing some funny taglines...was wondering whether they meant "...install a PIPE." Then it'd be even more funny. HAHAHHA. Okay, shut up. Bleagh, i miss runni! On the other hand, i wonder how LUCKY i will be this week... Hmmm...