...you can be whole again. .................................................................................................. So, in case you couldn't tell, I'm mourning the momentary death of my best friend's ipod, apparently the chord we were using to transfer music killed him. *A moment of silence please* He will be missed.
Went out and tried to forget you again today -five cigarettes, three swigs of gin. My eyes are red. My feet are sore. My back's in scratches and knots. I pretended I was okay again. -I look like shit... Naked, unprotected. You haunt here. But I need you to leave I need to walk or to move on instead of off. Something, anything, this. Crying, I sink under, look up. Cold and unsure, I finish your business
When your spouse dies, your world changes. You are in mourning—feeling grief and sorrow at the loss. You may feel numb, shocked, and fearful. You may feel guilty for being the one who is still alive. If your spouse died in a nursing home, you may wish that you had been able to care for him or her at home. At some point, you may even feel angry at your spouse for leaving you. All these feelings are...
...fall out and I am left with a set that represents what I want to say in that moment. Finally, I listen to that same set of songs until they drop into their proper order, in terms of tone, style, meaning... Interestingly, in this musical mix there are several songs about someone dying. No one has died recently in my life, but the quality of the mourning is right. Someone might as well have died.
Monday night, we knew something was wrong. Lhamo hadn't been all that active, he wasn't drinking as much, wasn't eating, and he hadn't run on his wheel. So Audrey and I decided to make it a point to take...someone who loved him rather than cold and alone in his cage. Hard as it was to watch him die, it would have been so much harder to have to imagine it. I love you Lhamo, rest in peace little buddy
So much has been going on since my last few posts here. And my mind's a bit of a mess at the moment, trying to think clearly, so forgive how this post is going to come out. I've been register trained...and didn't take it. I thought I'd have more time. And Ed's gone now. And my grandmother had died the very next fucking day.... I'll never forgive myself for never saying goodbye to either of them
I realized that I haven't started a discussion or done a poll in awhile, so here's one to start back up with: What do you do when mourning the passing of a ferret? What has helped or not helped?
Have you ever missed someone so much that it made your heart hurt? Strange philosophy, really... is the heart hurting figurative, or literal? We make it sound so literal, but if it were we would be...that I can't go visit her elsewhere, wherever the angels sent down from heaven go. She was really something. God, tell her that I love her. I don't think I can get up this time. xx Michelle.
Im so worried about Nick, hes so upset, he barley talks. His friend Ben died on August 18th, he hasn't been the same since. Im so afraid that he wont be ok. He says he will, but he has barely even talked...did I tell him. I wish I could disappear. Die. Not come back this time..... I just feel like shit. I hate this. And you can have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down, I will make you hurt...
I've been missing my mother lately. She has been in my heart and I've had the feeling I was talking to her in dreams. I didn't know why, I thought maybe it was the approach of Autumn. Well, I found out last night that her partner just went to the ocean. It was the last station for her ashes. No wonder. Funerary rites are now complete. Sigh. I miss you KiNi.
