Dear Magdalena, HELLO MEATBAGS Welcome to Sydney shitbags! I hope you're having a nice time, Despisers of the Body! Feel free to get an authentic Sydney Buses Volvo imprint on your...probably get run over at least once. Culture shock. Talk to me! You'll regret it, I promise! Also, I think it's time for NICHOLAS MELAS APPRECIATION WEEK some time soon. Yours, Ninja

Dear Magdalena, To Justice Michael J. Kirby of the High Court of Australia, I love your work, I really do, but could you try to keep relatively straightforward judgments like Yougarla v WA (2001 - HCA...been a very below-average turnout. Sorry guys, but you're really going to have to pull your weight a bit. God knows I've pulled my weight for you guys. Get your shit together! It finishes Thursday

Dear Magdalena, I am sure many of you are aware of my practice of spamming classical music over the radio in Counterstrike games? If you're not, well that's what I do. Playing Tchaikovsky's Dance of...for turning up to a lecture about essay-writing if I know how to write essays... yeh stfu. I also spent some time with Safia... I really like that girl, really like her. She's *awesome*. Yours, Ninja

Dear Magdalena, appreciationwk : "This week it is finesseccentric appreciation week! (according to him...) finesseccentric is a dear dear friend who I love very much. He has... I *LOVE* RICK JAMES! Also, cocks. Also, another idea for Nicholas Melas Appreciation Week: Wear a big-great coat at least one day in the week. Or, if you're really dedicated, wear it all week. Yours, Ninja

Dear Magdalena, There are many things to discuss at the moment: Rosie's party was teh shiznit. Good fun, got to see Eddie, who I haven't seen in approximately one billion years due to the fact that... Her eljay is apologysong . Some of you may know her as Paige... don't be fooled. She is April. Met many people, and saw frankenslut for the firs time in an equally long biiilion years.