I'm not sure that getting wound up in Halloween is the best thing for my state of mind at the moment. I mean, I'm not a big fan of horror in general, but Halloween has been rare for me lately... Okay, this is all.. a short ish update for a LONG time. Wish me luck for the rest of the semester... (WHAT?) It's already almost November. How did THAT happen?! Expland please. AK.
I don't think I feel physical pain anymore. Honestly. It's a bit of an issue. I just spent a good 5 minutes scratching my lower back with my nails that I have let grow out, yes there is blood, but I don't feel pain. At all. I mean...really? REALLY? This couldn't have happened while I was still doing pointe???? I'm gonna try punching the top of my right hand.... NOTHING! A fewtingles, but nothing...
This is an abrupt blog. But I really need to do SOMETHING with my hands right now. Don't read below unless you're in for a doozie. The reason that I probably need therapy: for the past 17 years, I...retelling my darkest secrets to anyone. I don't like feeling analyzed and I sure as Jesus lives will tell someone that. I digress. The moral of the story is... I can not wait to make a difference.
Well, today was ok. School went by pretty uneventfully, with the only interesting bits being the mock election and the free day in chorus. The last soccer game of the season was today. We won, 2-0. That... I just need to dig my costume out and get the party stuff packed up so I can bring it to school. I am totally just killing time until Grey's Anatomy comes on at 9. A little pathetic? I think so.
...so much, it’s time for it to end. The roses I brought to keep the peace remained in my hand. Your memory stood silently while I made my stand. I spoke of the pain I’ve felt so deep inside for so long. How much it hurt to think of how everything went wrong. My pride stepped down to let me speak what needed to be said. I finally let loose of all the thoughts...
...care if my heart gave out, (since I have heart problems) because of walking to the bank as I just wanted my head to stop racing and to stop feeling like I was going insane... -sighs- I just don't know what to do anymore... Life just sucks and it's not going to get better anytime soon for me, so I'm just in different kinds of painconstantly as I wait and wait. Don't know how much more I can take...
...local or not, if you can see this and would like to trick or treat with my familytomorrow night, you are WELCOME!!! Be at my place by 6...but no earlier than 5, pretty please :) Still in pain, and suddenly scared that something will be found. Stupid emo chick.
I just had an endomitrial biopsy. It hurts in ways that I can't articulate right now...waiting for the rather large dose of ibprofen to kick in and make it all stop. I don't know if I'll make it through...not happen tomorrow. Thank you all from the bottom of my ( and my kids ) heart for growing up our dragons :) Two girls and a boy :) They will be named as soon as I share the happy news with the boys
