on a completely unrelated note to anything mentioned in the previous entry, my therapist and parents and some friends have managed to convince me that it is good for my development as a productive and... (p.s. I think he likes peanuts). Also, someone go back in time and convince me to choose arts instead of psychology, or some shit like that that doesn't suck donkey wang and swallow? kthxbai xoxoxox
...want to kill off. But he was created to be killed off. I did not plan on growing so attached to this character and I feel like I've lost a good friend. So now he's been killed and there is no going back...or forward it seems. Now i'm stuck. and when I can't write everyone suffers, i'm cranky and sometimes flat out rude. Though I don't mean to be. Any suggestions on how to get passed this block?
WHOO!! I manage to finish up my friend's present! YES!!! So damn happy!!! I finished it at 5am last night XD Barely got any sleep.... Oh right! I'm also at kurozawa.sheezyart.com/ So anyways...some crap and put it in the middle of the story. Still can't decide weather to give them a cliff hanger or the whole story [obviously it's gonna be cut short] Anyways, be off for now. Ciaoz...
I hate myself so much. I hate myself so much. I hate myself so much. I hate myself so much. I hate myself so much. I hate myself so much. I hate myself so much. I hate myself so much. I hate myself...you smooth dough out for cookies)... I hate myself so much. I'm so fat. I'm so fat. I hate myself. I don't see any way out of this. I'm so broken. I wish I would die. I wish I would die
Friday came and went without a call from him. I knew he had a football game to coach out of town so I knew I wouldnt hear from him that night (maybe). He has one of those pocket phones, which dont reach...morning he texted me and says * Sorry, I didnt forget about you. I was in Austin drinking with friends. Got back in late last night* I did it again. Lost faith and was proved wrong...once again.
Well, it seems I'm stuck here. This really sucks but... At least I have time to train. And research. I wasn't offered enough time for the latter back home... and I really need to study up on... Uhm, that. This nice person, Kai-kun, told me I could wish for things (and was right!), I just hope I'll get the scrolls I need and stuff... He said to be very specific, so I will... I just need the...
*sigh* I'm really stuck on what to be for halloween. Should I be scary or cute? I could be scary an cute and be that doll from Ghost hunt. But that would mean shopping for more fabric, which is ironic as I have a ton of fabric I bought but never used. I have this really pretty blue knit I bought for one of those instantgratifying fixeswithout any real plan to make something out of it. Maybe I should...
...once said, its all about TIME. That's the 1 thing that we young adults have difficulty with. We've been through this, my mentor and I. And i'm really thankful that despite everything, she's stuck by me. I can't let her down, i can't let everyone else down either. Seeing how much faith others have in me, makes me feel ashamed of myself. As i read the bible, it said 'you, of little faith..'...
