I'm in a collab channel on YouTube called MighTMenFTM. Also on Sunday is Jacob (I think) and Friday is Brett. Check it out, Subscribe, etc. The first week is well on the way :D

Saeta's cover of Magnetic Field's Grand Canyon . If I was the Grand Canyon I'd echo everything you say but I'm just me I'm only me and you used to love me that way so you know how to love... We need others, but mostly we need to know our selves. We break our own hearts, over and over, but that we really have to face alone. I'm okay with that though, I guess. I'm better about it, anyway.

Just had my first appointment with Dr. Judy O'Donahue, my therapist. Everything went well. We talked about my childhood, remarked at my relatively quick progress, discussed the options available in the...to get me some boobs and a vagina!" Oh well. I'm going to wash my wig. Or clean out my car. Something. The shame of this evening won't leave my mind until I give her that fucking check tomorrow

So, I'm reading up on gender transitions again. I know the transition I've got planned for the next five years isn't transsexuality, but the advice is still generally helpful. One article in specific, about Self Worth , really got me thinking. Specifically, the quote "self worth is defined by our ethical accomplishments." And when I really let that sink in, so much of the world made sense. If...

I'm growing hair on my chest. My sideburns are coming in. I'm feeling pretty docile the last week or so. Maybe humbled by what I've taken on? By accepting the next couple decades of learning ahead...changes, not really because I have some active source of hope. Lately I wonder constantly, what kind of people want me? Who are they, and how do I find them out, now that I pass for male so easily?

Over the weekend a brave woman passed away. Beatrice lived many many miles from me "across the pond" as some say. She lived in Paris. We never met in person, but the magic of the internet made...the best you can and you're doing it with dignity toward yourself, and respect for the others around you. It won't be easy--you know that. But you're not walking alone. *s* As always...

"There is a social stigma that transsexualism is simply a lifestyle choice, however our findings support a biological basis of how gender identity develops." Professor Vincent Harley, researcher

I have recently found a new love. It is not a he, or a she, or an it. It's Women's Health Magazine. To be honest, I never had this sort of idealistic mindset before, but damn me for being egotistical...of the matter is, Women's Health Magazine is one of the most random things I could have picked up at Books A Million. Then again, I think I'll be on the edge of my seat until the next issue comes out

 I've been experiencing some anger lately, and there was a trigger of it last night... I've come to a point where I need to deal with it, and try to find an outlet for it, which is a big part of why I'm... but I hope they can gather that from my growling and her correcting herself.  I'm thankful they weren't Sirs. ... after that I think I'm ready to take a break from writing.      

...decision on my part, I'm going to start the process of becoming male.  I'll be keeping a journal of it on here, I'll post pictures as it goes on.  But I'll update my journal with other stuff to. Transition: Still living at home, still looking for job, still in school. I told Mom that I want to be male.   She took it well considering.   We still need to talk about the process, she doesn’t know...