...to put in long hours as my successful peers, and this bothers me because I don't know that I can be successful as a graduate student/scientist while living a sane and happy life. This is an uncertainty in my life, and while it's definitely a good problem to have (as opposed to, say, being a leper) it's uncomfortable because it's so uncertain. Who knows whether I will succeed or fail at this...
I feel like I may be giving myself an ulcer. >_> If I knew what that felt like. I have no money~ Which is a dirty lie, I have about $800 to live off of for the next, oh idek how long, 2 months or so...what with my klutziness and her... well getting attacked by birds. We went to ROSS (only after identifying a sickly eggplant and a blue tailed lizard at the bus stop) and Kohls and I must say I
Well it looks like I can sign up for Orgo now since Im already halfway through 2046 but auuuugh my schedule looks so nice and pretty without it. I would have Monday's off, start my classes on T, W, R,...email lyssbies ; that was probably the only reason I got my ass up and went to class today. Also, sleeping is added to that annoying waste of time list. AUGH WHY CANT I NEED LESS OF IT?
Ugh my head is stuffy and I am congested like yuck. I feel the most appropriate physical expression of my disposition right now is: sigh. My parents are up, not for much longer, but they're up. Did...as ever. Stats is over on Friday. No Lab this week, which is good because I've stained my hand yellow with Cobaltinitrite. Fake Plastic Trees reminds me of Life on Mars... or maybe I need to sleep.
I'm so fucking tired of this siht. I don't know what I did wrong, or what his problem is, but I still really feel like Richard doesn't want me around. It's like he never wants to sit with me or be in a...feeling back between us. But at the end of the day, I know that somewhere past the changes the dope puts in him, that Richard is still there. I'm just gonna have to go through hell to get him back
So, a few days ago Chris dropped an idea into Richard's head and I think he might be thinking about it. Basically the whole thing is wait til they pull out from overseas and join some branch of the military...to talk about it much. I think he said he'd go with the Air Force. I dunno though...we definitely need to talk about it. But there's good and bad and I can't honestly decide if I like it or not
Since I'm not entirely sure how often I'll be posting here, I don't really want to commit too much of what's on my mind at this time. I haven't really done this type of thing before (written a blog...breeze" with. I suppose I'll try to write a little more later on this evening in hopes of giving anybody who happens across my journal a better idea of who I am and how I think. Until then... A.
Being in a creative writing class I've noticed that there is a huge difference between the poetry and the fiction I write. My poems are dark. I write about suicide, self harm, abuse, depression, death...these fake cutesy poems about horses and rainbows to turn in. Why? To hide the real me? Because I'm afraid of what the professor will think if I turn in a real poem showing more of my personality?
Well, Boys and Girls...It's PANIC TIME...Quite possibly For those who don't know...I work for Rose City Messenger Service... I have since 1997, most of those years, spent as an hourly company driver...was losing myself, sense of direction/purpose or whatever Now? I really don't know what I am going to do Look into getting commercial insurance, I guess Wish me luck...I'm gonna need it...We ALL d
Here's a headshot guy and a new Backstage where you're right for something on every page. Take a breath, take a step, take a chance... I want someone to tell me that! I not that I want the headshot...freak you are? Say goodbye to wiping ashtrays at the bar - say hello to Cathy Hiatt, big-time star! Cathy, you get to be happy. Do I? What does that even look like? And how will I know?
