they think im completely numb. nah im not kids. if your not interested you can just say. gracious i feel ugly, oh god i feel so goddamned ugly... I feel just like zacky does in my story... God im so...Diet, now and no im not bothered you stupid stupid stupid body. been reading synacky all day, i suppose it makes me feel even worse, but its so goddamned good, god i feel so ugly, so unwanted oh god

Trash it, hit it, hide it, name it Start it, break it, quick – erase it.   Touch it, lock it, load it, block it Cut it, paste it, scan – retouch it.   Rate it, crack it, cross it, snap it Save...it, scream it Drum it, bang it, make sure you hear it.   Cry it, sigh it, sleep it, fear it Do it, hide it, you’re inside it.   Rip it, burn it, jam it, view it Time to change, you cannot do it.

Well, the day has come and gone... And what's the verdict? ...I have never had a worse birthday in my life. I'm woken up with a phone call from my mother to come out and help do yard work. So, I drag... I've received more "Happy Birthdays" from people I know only online than I have from people I've lived my entire life with. Life sure is funny sometimes... If you need me, I'll be crying on my bed.

Have you ever felt so down, that you can't get back up? You're like this permanently, forever and ever. You're to the point where you're so depressed and lonely that you don't even cry anymore. You've...lying and keeping secrets from the people you care about the most. You hate who've you become. You're a hypocrite, you're dirt. And you don't even want to be helped anymore.. You are me.

I'M SICK! I have a fever and a cough. It HURTS!! :( The good news is, I got off school for the day. The bad news is (besides HURTING) that I probably won't get to see my boy this weekend, and that sucks because weekends are usually our only time to really hang out. T_T This sucks.

Yeah, no happiness in my garden, I believe. It's just...bleh. I dunno. I'm born unhappy I guess. It's not that somebody did anything, I'm just lonely. Well, I'm happy that I'm closer to some people now again and getting along better with people. I don't sit alone the whole day and people talk to me more and even not always to borrow anything or write homework down from my notebooks. It's just......

H ope that maybe you will surprise me at times. H ope that maybe you will be nicer to me if I was more quiet. H ope that maybe you would talk to me more if I didn't talk to other people. H ope that somehow I can talk to others without you getting mad. I don't think that there's anything left in me. I've tried everything . This is just too hard . 

I love my team mates loads. :) :)   Half the time the world is ending, truth is I am done pretending.   Well, woke up at 11 today. :O Super happy ok, like finally I woke up so late! * Haha!...Melanie. Took bus with Putri, Jaz & Melanie. :) Putri & Jaz went bbtea. I went home. :O Augustine came over to my house to eat cuz his house got no one. LOL! Okkkkkkk, I rock plain shit. \m/ hehehehehe

boyS !  well one boy in particular has caught my eye, i haven't had a crush like this in about 3 years lol, not since high school, well let me tell you one thing, things haven't changed much...!  ARRRG !!  plus being ugly never helped anyone either!! y cant i be super hot or something because apparently have a " shinning personality " hasn't done shit for me in the past 10 years!! 

*squeak, sniffle* *water drops dot the page* ... I don' liek ths place. 's as bad as home is... [[OOC: Chibi-Paul just woke up from a nightmare... Yah late in the day, but even chibi he's all the more stuck with a weird sleep schedule. Poor chibi-Paul! On the up-side he's figured out the journals a bit. LoL]]